The old crones (14)

Are you OK Maud?
Not too bad. They're letting me out of hospital this evening. They just want to make sure it was only a case of smoke inhalation. Otherwise I'm perfectly OK apart from the shock.

What the bleedin' 'ell happened? I heard all sorts of stories about the house burning down, people being roasted alive and the woods catching fire.
Nothing so dramatic Gladys. Me and the girls decided to do a bit of witchcraft to ensure the school sports day went OK. It was one of the rituals invoking the elements. You know the one. Anyway, we set up in the back garden. The candles, for fire, were burning nicely. Elsie invoked the air, but with too much enthusiasm. And before we knew it the candles fell over and set fire to the lawn and bushes. We had a bucket of water to invoke the water element, and threw that on it, but it wasn't enough so I undid the garden hose and sprayed the flames. The smoke was awful.

So did you manage to get everything under control?
Sort of. But then we heard the sirens. That's when Jenny screamed that we were all naked! We'd all forgotten in the panic. So we all rushed around trying to hide and bury all the equipment in case anyone noticed, and get some clothes on. I pulled the BBQ out of the shed and tipped it over near the burnt lawn. By the time the firemen and police came round the back, we thought we had everything sorted.

And did you?
Almost. I was explaining to the local bobby about the wind ruining our BBQ, when we both notice Elsie's bra falling out of her T shirt. Then I saw that Jenny's pants were stuffed into the back pocket of her jeans. And worst of all, a sudden breeze lifted my summer dress and I realised I had no knickers on!

Bloody hell!!
But it turned out alright in the end. No one else seemed to have noticed. The local bobby just said he could empathise how housework was so boring and that women needed to enjoy themselves now and again.

So he thought you were lesbians or summat?
Probably. He didn't seemed that fussed really. He did say next time we have a BBQ, give it a good clean as the cobwebs seem to have been fireproof! We all were shipped to the hospital but no one was hurt, apart from me coughing because of the smoke.

All's well that ends well then!
Too true. Both Elsie and Marge got dated by firemen, so they were really chuffed! And because we'd buried the tools in the ground, which was the earth element, we'd actually completed the invocation, in a sort of short-hand way!

lol that one had me chuckling as I can just picture it actually happening