The old crones

Two witches drinking stout in a country pub.

You know Gladys, I think the weatherman is secretly a witch.
Go on Maud, why d'yer think that.
Well, I caught the weather report this morning and I heard him talking about spells of good weather.
Yeh, you might be right.

A few pints later.

Have I shown you my bos, Maud ?
You mean your hubby ? Seen him lots of times.
No Maud. My book of shadows.
Is that before or after Cliff Richard left them then ?

A few more pints later. (The fact that they're enjoying a drink is totally irrelevant).

Gladys, I'm having problems with my book of shadows.
What's wrong with it then Maud.
Well it's getting so dark now I've had to start using white ink.

Two more pints and a packet of crisps later.

I've stopped reading News of the World now.
Why's that then Gladys ?
You don't get many articles on witchcraft these days.
I know what you mean, Glad. I changed magazines recently. The nice man at the library said I should try Which.
No much on the craft there either. But I got some good ideas for a toaster.

I'm off then Maud.
You're right there, Gladys. I told you to stop drinking Brut with your stout. It spoils the taste of the beer.
No, you fool. I'm going home.
Can you remember where you parked your broom ? Last time you spend hours trying to get a pool cue to fly !
Yes, yes, yes. It's over by the spittoon. I've wrapped a bunch of garlic round the 'andle.
What ever for, Maud ?
You know I'm always worried about meeting vampires ! The nice man at the library said it never failed to work, and, was attractive to men !!!!!.
Well I never ! Can you get me some as well. My "Kiss me quick" sticker hasn't made any difference.